Why I Oughtaaa…

People are weird. Yes, this means you. When you strip away all the pomp and circumstance, the posing, posturing, and possessions, we’re merely animals, and we are all just making it up as we go along. No one has a fucking clue. Imposter syndrome: the struggle is real! But like it or not, we’re all in this together. Believe me, I don’t like it any better than you do.

Question: Why is the word “feminism” so polarizing? It’s basically the new N word: taboo.  It bugs people, and is therefore my new favorite play toy.

It pisses some people off even more than re-naming, which used to be my go-to.  Rename someone’s cat, dog, or child.  Persistence is key here. It’s a joke guaranteed to annoy. Experiments are fun!

Ok back to the subject: sex. Is there anything else? It’s like a lens through which we all view the world: proverbial perv goggles. Deny it all you want, but we’re all the same, no shame in the game, right?  Oh wait, you have a vagina? Welp, shit just got real. Prepare for objectification. 

Are you an alpha? Then you apparently owe the world an apology. How dare you?! Dumb it down, or else.

Sexual? Congrats, you’re officially a “slut.”

Clearly, the two are mutually exclusive. It’s one or the other. And don’t forget to consistently apologize for your own existence, all while looking flawless, obviously. And don’t you dare mention the blatant double standard. It’s not ladylike. 

Awesome, right?

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